Okay, just joking! ;)
I am realizing, that I have a very addictive personality. Maybe, this is human nature, maybe it's just me. I have never struggled with drugs, alcohol or any of the "normal" addictions, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. I never really thought I had a problem with food, because I could always find others that ate more and worse than me. Who was I kidding?!?
Let me share a battle I won:
Last night, I was craving sweets. I found some COOKIES in the pantry and while one would have been okay (calorie/carb wise) I thought, "I really want two with some milk." So I got the cookies out and starting pouring milk.
As I was doing this, there was a mental battle in my head:
I then realized what was happening and stopped to listen to my body (not those darn voices in my head!) and realized that I WAS full. I knew that if I ate the cookies, I would be uncomfortably full, which would make me not only physically but emotionally feel bad and it WASN'T worth it!!! I put those cookies away and poured the milk back in the carton. I felt AMAZING for the rest of the night, knowing that I no longer have to be ruled by food!
- "You're not really hungry for this, in fact you are still full from dinner"
- "Oh, but I really want it"
- "You're going to feel bad if you eat these, then you will want to eat another one because you feel bad"
- "No, I just want to eat these"
- "Is it worth it?"
- "They are just two cookies, not a big deal!"
- "That's how your weight got out of control missy, remember how sweet it is to fit into jeans you haven't worn for years."
Confessions of an over/emotional-eater
As I come to grips with the real problems that led to the weight problems I have struggled with for years, it is time to embrace the ugly so I can throw it out once and for all! I'm sure I have blocked out the ugliest, but here it goes:
- I have, more than once, eaten an almost entire package of cookies (think Uh-Oh Oreos) with a huge glass of milk. Of course I left a couple of cookies in the package, so that I wasn't actually eating the WHOLE thing. Course, I would clean those off an hour or two later.
- It was my nightly staple for a long time (this was a HARD habit to break), of eating a bowl of ice cream each night before bed. Mint chocolate chip (3-4 big scoops) smothered in hard shell chocolate (I'd get maybe 4 servings out of one bottle) I often hid the hard shell, so no one else could eat it.
- Milk chocolate chips. Yummmmmmm ... I'd buy these so that I could make cookies with the kids, but would end up eating handfuls of them at night. Maybe after I finished my ice cream.
- I could easily eat an entire box of Kraft Mac & Cheese myself. The creamy version of course, that uses 1/2 stick of butter.
- The way I cooked before, was just like those commercials about the "Buttertons." You know the one showing the 1950s housewife who puts whole sticks of butter into everything she cooked? I read a while back that butter was better for you than margarine, and I ran with that! I would buy 2-4 packages of butter each shopping trip (depending on the sales) 'cause we really went through that stuff.
- We used sour cream about as much as we used butter. We always had 2-3 containers in the fridge, because often my dinners called for a container. I LOVE creamy, rich sauces.
- I am stressed
- I am bored
- I am overwhelmed
- I am sad
- I am stuck
- I am celebrating
- I want to feel special
- I am trying to block something out
- I am tired
Realizing and facing this problem has been a HUGE help in taking the steps to OVERCOME this addiction. Here are some questions to ask myself next time I am faced with temptations:
- Am I hungry?
- Is it worth it?
- How will I fell when I finish this?