Mind over ... FOOD!

Hello blogger land! Is anyone out there, heeeeellooooooooooooooooo?

Okay, just joking! ;)

I am realizing, that I have a very addictive personality. Maybe, this is human nature, maybe it's just me. I have never struggled with drugs, alcohol or any of the "normal" addictions, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. I never really thought I had a problem with food, because I could always find others that ate more and worse than me. Who was I kidding?!?

Let me share a battle I won:

Last night, I was craving sweets. I found some COOKIES in the pantry and while one would have been okay (calorie/carb wise) I thought, "I really want two with some milk." So I got the cookies out and starting pouring milk.

As I was doing this, there was a mental battle in my head:

• "You're not really hungry for this, in fact you are still full from dinner"
  
• "Oh, but I really want it"
  
• "You're going to feel bad if you eat these, then you will want to eat another one because you feel bad"
  
• "No, I just want to eat these"
  
• "Is it worth it?"
  
• "They are just two cookies, not a big deal!"
  
• "That's how your weight got out of control missy, remember how sweet it is to fit into jeans you haven't worn for years."

I then realized what was happening and stopped to listen to my body (not those darn voices in my head!) and realized that I WAS full. I knew that if I ate the cookies, I would be uncomfortably full, which would make me not only physically but emotionally feel bad and it WASN'T worth it!!! I put those cookies away and poured the milk back in the carton. I felt AMAZING for the rest of the night, knowing that I no longer have to be ruled by food!

Confessions of an over/emotional-eater
As I come to grips with the real problems that led to the weight problems I have struggled with for years, it is time to embrace the ugly so I can throw it out once and for all! I'm sure I have blocked out the ugliest, but here it goes:

• I have, more than once, eaten an almost entire package of cookies (think Uh-Oh Oreos) with a huge glass of milk. Of course I left a couple of cookies in the package, so that I wasn't actually eating the WHOLE thing. Course, I would clean those off an hour or two later.
• It was my nightly staple for a long time (this was a HARD habit to break), of eating a bowl of ice cream each night before bed. Mint chocolate chip (3-4 big scoops) smothered in hard shell chocolate (I'd get maybe 4 servings out of one bottle) I often hid the hard shell, so no one else could eat it.
  
• Milk chocolate chips. Yummmmmmm ... I'd buy these so that I could make cookies with the kids, but would end up eating handfuls of them at night. Maybe after I finished my ice cream.
• I could easily eat an entire box of Kraft Mac & Cheese myself. The creamy version of course, that uses 1/2 stick of butter.
  
• The way I cooked before, was just like those commercials about the "Buttertons." You know the one showing the 1950s housewife who puts whole sticks of butter into everything she cooked? I read a while back that butter was better for you than margarine, and I ran with that! I would buy 2-4 packages of butter each shopping trip (depending on the sales) 'cause we really went through that stuff.
• We used sour cream about as much as we used butter. We always had 2-3 containers in the fridge, because often my dinners called for a container. I LOVE creamy, rich sauces.
  

There they are, just a taste (pun intended!) of the habits I had. Going a step further, I can see many triggers that make me want to eat:

• I am stressed
• I am bored
• I am overwhelmed
• I am sad
• I am stuck
• I am celebrating
• I want to feel special
• I am trying to block something out
• I am tired
  

What's funny, is really I can always find an excuse.

Realizing and facing this problem has been a HUGE help in taking the steps to OVERCOME this addiction. Here are some questions to ask myself next time I am faced with temptations:

• Am I hungry?
• Is it worth it?
• How will I fell when I finish this?
  

I so get, that it is not about eliminating the unhealthy foods, but about moderation. It's time to take back the power that I have ... It's MIND OVER FOOD!!!