Friday, May 8, 2009

Mind over ... FOOD!

Hello blogger land! Is anyone out there, heeeeellooooooooooooooooo?

Okay, just joking! ;)

I am realizing, that I have a very addictive personality. Maybe, this is human nature, maybe it's just me. I have never struggled with drugs, alcohol or any of the "normal" addictions, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. I never really thought I had a problem with food, because I could always find others that ate more and worse than me. Who was I kidding?!?

Let me share a battle I won:
Last night, I was craving sweets. I found some COOKIES in the pantry and while one would have been okay (calorie/carb wise) I thought, "I really want two with some milk." So I got the cookies out and starting pouring milk.

As I was doing this, there was a mental battle in my head:
  • "You're not really hungry for this, in fact you are still full from dinner"
  • "Oh, but I really want it"
  • "You're going to feel bad if you eat these, then you will want to eat another one because you feel bad"
  • "No, I just want to eat these"
  • "Is it worth it?"
  • "They are just two cookies, not a big deal!"
  • "That's how your weight got out of control missy, remember how sweet it is to fit into jeans you haven't worn for years."
I then realized what was happening and stopped to listen to my body (not those darn voices in my head!) and realized that I WAS full. I knew that if I ate the cookies, I would be uncomfortably full, which would make me not only physically but emotionally feel bad and it WASN'T worth it!!! I put those cookies away and poured the milk back in the carton. I felt AMAZING for the rest of the night, knowing that I no longer have to be ruled by food!

Confessions of an over/emotional-eater

As I come to grips with the real problems that led to the weight problems I have struggled with for years, it is time to embrace the ugly so I can throw it out once and for all! I'm sure I have blocked out the ugliest, but here it goes:
  • I have, more than once, eaten an almost entire package of cookies (think Uh-Oh Oreos) with a huge glass of milk. Of course I left a couple of cookies in the package, so that I wasn't actually eating the WHOLE thing. Course, I would clean those off an hour or two later.
  • It was my nightly staple for a long time (this was a HARD habit to break), of eating a bowl of ice cream each night before bed. Mint chocolate chip (3-4 big scoops) smothered in hard shell chocolate (I'd get maybe 4 servings out of one bottle) I often hid the hard shell, so no one else could eat it.
  • Milk chocolate chips. Yummmmmmm ... I'd buy these so that I could make cookies with the kids, but would end up eating handfuls of them at night. Maybe after I finished my ice cream.
  • I could easily eat an entire box of Kraft Mac & Cheese myself. The creamy version of course, that uses 1/2 stick of butter.
  • The way I cooked before, was just like those commercials about the "Buttertons." You know the one showing the 1950s housewife who puts whole sticks of butter into everything she cooked? I read a while back that butter was better for you than margarine, and I ran with that! I would buy 2-4 packages of butter each shopping trip (depending on the sales) 'cause we really went through that stuff.
  • We used sour cream about as much as we used butter. We always had 2-3 containers in the fridge, because often my dinners called for a container. I LOVE creamy, rich sauces.
There they are, just a taste (pun intended!) of the habits I had. Going a step further, I can see many triggers that make me want to eat:
  • I am stressed
  • I am bored
  • I am overwhelmed
  • I am sad
  • I am stuck
  • I am celebrating
  • I want to feel special
  • I am trying to block something out
  • I am tired
What's funny, is really I can always find an excuse.

Realizing and facing this problem has been a HUGE help in taking the steps to OVERCOME this addiction. Here are some questions to ask myself next time I am faced with temptations:
  • Am I hungry?
  • Is it worth it?
  • How will I fell when I finish this?
I so get, that it is not about eliminating the unhealthy foods, but about moderation. It's time to take back the power that I have ... It's MIND OVER FOOD!!!


  1. What a great reality exercise. Way to go on putting those cookies and milk back. You are awesome!

  2. WTG, Carrie! It is so true that learning to see food as 'energy' and not a reward, not for enjoyment, not for entertainment .. is a process. It sounds like you are very aware of this .. and kudos! Great job on your progress so far - it's motivating!