Friday, March 13, 2009

All kinds of Revelations

Hi all! I ended up missing my workout on Wednesday due to having to help my Mom get ready for a unplanned trip back east (funeral). Since I hadn't gotten the workout done first thing, I had no other time to get it in. Good thing I didn't take my rest day on Tuesday! I did get LC2 in yesterday. It's been quite a ride and I'd like to get it down in writing, but I don't blame you if you don't read it ... it might be long!

Yesterday I spent a better part of the day trying to talk myself into working out. This week has been pretty sucky in my personal life, more of the same and then some more. (How's that for vague?!?) I kept finding that I really wanted to nurse my wounds with food and Revelation #1 ... I realize that I have really used food as a comfort tool in the past. But I know that cycle all to well and that is NOT the road I want to be on! Back to yesterday. So, I've been eating pretty well (out of the cycle ... wahoo!) but there was no part of me that wanted to work out. In fact, honestly I just wanted to crawl back into bed. Revelation #2 ... when things aren't working in my life (or are overwhelming, sad, angry, etc.) I want to retreat. Run away from all responsibilities, decisions, etc. So, to break the cycles, I MADE myself do the workout. It literally felt like my whole body was screaming not to, I'm sure the neighbors wondered what all the noise was about! I started doing the shoulder rolls in the warm up and almost immediately my body (and mind) stopped fighting it. At one point during the workout, Chalene said something like, "Forget the laundry that needs to be folded or anything else that is on your mind right now and just focus on the muscle you are working." At another point she said, "Make exercise your new go to. When there's stress, you work it out here." Revelation #3 ... Stress happens in life. We worry, we get angry, we get hurt, we are sad, things don't work, etc, but I don't have to go back to my old ways of being when this happen. I CAN make new ways of being instead. For a moment, I pictured a new me, a me that did not escape to bed with food but allowed my body the release the angst through exercise which would then allow me to powerfully face life. I did notice there were times during the workout that my mind started to stray to the worries and stress. It was during those moments that I wanted to just stop the workout and do something else. I focused back to the workout and pushed through. Was life perfect after the workout? Certainly not. But I am one huge step closer to winning this war!

1 comment:

  1. Carrie, you are amazing! You revelations are so helpful to me while I'm struggling to find motivation to work out. You are honest about your feelings and it allows me to identify mine better. Thanks friend!