Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I'm here still ...

So I've been fighting the anti-exercise demons the last two days and he won two days in a row (after my two scheduled rest days). I finally put my foot down today and decided to try Vol. 3 (just bought it from swap). So about half way through (end of the last aerobic phase) I get a call from my Mom who is feeling anxious about the needle biopsy she is having next week (she had an abnormal mammogram a month ago, and the ultrasound yesterday). She's going through all of the emotions and what ifs and feeling alone when DS climbs up on my lap and proceeds to throw up all over both of us. I had to quickly hang up (just as she is expressing how ALONE she feels). As I stripped us down and we jumped in the shower, I could absolutely feel the adversary working against us (not just me from doing the workout, but in my being there for my Mom.) So, I got us cleaned up, got a throw up bowl and snuggled on the bed with DS while calling my Mom back. I was able to be there for her, we prayed together and worked through some of the feelings.

DS is now watching his favorite DVD and I needed to come here for some comic relief. I actually am feeling much better. I really feel that my Mom is going to be okay. The abnormality is very small; they almost just had her come back in 6 months to check. I feel that they are being very thorough, which is what I want. However the process could definitely been a challenge. My Mom has always been healthy (besides the car accident) and so this is such unexplored territory.

I've really been fighting the negativity and not being discouraged that I am not losing weight faster than I have been. When something like this happens, it really puts things in perspective. I know I will feel discouraged again and again, but the important thing is to work through it and then pick myself back up and keep moving forward. I know that depending on how next week goes, I may not be able to devote as much time and energy to my journey, but I am awake now and will not longer sleep in denial about what is best for my health.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the reminder about my health Carrie. I think it hard for many of us to make that realization.